Przychodzą Nocą - A.J.K.S.

English

[I]

They come at night, those unwanted reminiscences //
They attack ever more often, and without fail, crush my defenses //
With every moonrise their numbers swell //
Making me realise that, you know, I live in hell //

They come at night, all the wounded souls
Branded with egoism, // Through your ears I flood your mind
And warn you—egocentrism, zeitgeist of our time,
Made me a cyborg, inhabited my digital bones

They come at night, attempts to excuse, the ones that I make //
The crooked stories, twisted with pain, //
Ninety degrees, straight flight or the earth, //
Rough landing, // like hyena—I feed on despair //

They come at night, those sickest of dreams //
Remember that nightmare, when you were this lil'? //
This is not a joke, and many a man from the fear had croaked //
You wanted to scream "Mother!", but something held your throat //

They come at night, memories of the first love
Dissolver of rage, illusion of paradise grove //
The swan song is the stage after bliss,
Agnostic proclaims—heaven is where nothing is //

They come at night, desires hidden in depths //
Is it insane, to talk to people who do not exist? //
The Earth, does my head house half the universe? //
I summon a harbour, using only my verse //

They come at night, phobias hidden by day //
To fall unconscious, it would be only fair //
All the demons are hungry, they bite through my skin
Drink blood, poison mind, my power grows thin //

They come at night, visions louder than screams //
I want so much, to learn to have dreams. //
I want to try losing bad habits once more, //
For my tiny safe haven, I want to build a world //

[REF.]

From side to side, like a pendulum I swing //
For every dream that flourished, one broke like a twig //
The loop on my neck, tightens its grip like a vice //
The long rotten dead, lurk among people still alive //

[II]

They come at night, conclusions about myself //
I study the grimoire of my mind, to build a defense //
Knowing the enemy is half the battle, I know, make no error
But the enemy is me, therefore I am consumed by terror

They come at night, // Length of that terrifying flight
Is inversely proportional to the value of your mind //
Revealing naivety, a crooked mirror they create //
It is so strange, not knowing when you fell //

They come at night, during the day staying under your eyes' walls
They will come through a window, if you show them the door //
I used to hold my head high, now I lost all my worth
And I will let you wound me, for a single pleasant word //

They come at night, // Senses have their own memory well
Nightmare of the wonderful taste, horror of the smell //
But inside all rotten, and so awfully grim,
A dead myself, covered with a layer of filthy skin //

And if only I knew, that sensations are gates to new worlds
And if only I knew, that you want me regardless of my faults
Then I would know, that I am here not without a reason //
I was born to live, but your God who saves is just a myth...

They come at night, thoughts like the blackest of blacks //
The question is: my dream of silence, will it come to pass? //
Don't be jealous, I always put my money down //
I just wear masks, without them I am a clown //

They come at night, temptations of the open window //
It rains again, and the street is wet
And I will run away through it, to the bitterest of ends
Until I will feel the sun, shining on my face //

[REF.]

From side to side, like a pendulum I swing //
For every dream that flourished, one broke like a twig //
The loop on my neck, tightens its grip like a vice //
The long rotten dead, lurk among people still alive //